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| When my heart has crashed and broken,
When the ends of my life are waving in the wind,
You pick up the peaces, heal the pain
And You knit my life together again I love You Lord
And even when I'm broken,
And Life won't go where I think it should
When Life slips like sand through fingers and
My cries go out unspoken,
I know, You'll work all things for good And I know when I can't stand anymore
And my soul is crushed with weight of all the hurt
I think of your promise to intercede for me
Oh Lord, with groans too deep for words I love You Lord
And even when I'm broken,
And Life won't go where I think it should
When Life slips like sand through fingers and
My cries go out unspoken,
I know, You'll work all things for good. But nothing, I know, wil take away Your love
No thing, distress, or persecution
cause I know that the Lord our God is for us
And because of that, the Enemy can't stand. I love You Lord
And even when I'm broken,
And Life won't go where I think it should
When Life slips like sand through fingers and
My cries go out unspoken,
I know, You'll work all things for good | | |
| so now more than ever i'm wondering, "why?"
My dad went over a dirtbike jump yesterday - like he has done for 30 years - his back tire hit the third landing, he flew over the handle bars, (we're talking a 49-year-old man here)hit a pothole, dislocated his hip and broke his femur near the hip socket.
And I find myself asking God, "Why?"
Everything was normal yesterday. I got up. I had an argument with Mom and Dad. We came to an agreement. I felt like my life was going nowhere. Me and Mom discussed frizzy hair. I rocked my little brother to sleep. Dad made me mad. Mom made me mad. I decided I needed to lose weight. I got my pants OUT of a wad. Dad and the boys went riding.
Dad broke his leg.
Now he's in the hospital awaiting surgery.
WTH?!
It's like, all in a day's work, except different. I don't know how to explain it.
| | |
| Ok.
So lately I've been wondering how people see me - what they really think when they see me, my personality, the way i act, talk, respond.
We were talking around the dinner table last night and someone said a few things that surprised me. I've pretty much thought of myself as sometimes confident, sometimes insecure. Someone described me as uppity. I was pretty surprised.
Once, quite recently actually, an older woman described me as flirtatious, a tease. Of course I was enraged as I have never flirted in my life, let alone tease.
But how do people get these thoughts? These assumptions and judgements about other people?
Is it right? Should I just be like, "screw the world", or should I pay attention to every single minor detail that someone has a problem with in my life?
| | |
| Do you ever wonder "why me"? Do you ever feel like the critisism never stops, that you are constantly being bombarded with emotional and mental problems? Like, you can't do anything right. Someone else's critisism has made you strangely conformative to the issues they thought they see in you?
Like I went through this...THING about a month ago. I was at a class and this older woman and her husband kept finding fault with every little thing I did! I could scarcely consintrated on my studies because I was ALWAYS under their microscope. At first I could think clearly and discern whether I was right and they were wrong, or vice versa.
But after a while you start to think of yourself as this horrible person...you're a hopeles wreck, you just get lazy and don't CARE what others think....and that leads to the inevitable thought that you don't care what God thinks.
And that's where I am right now...slack in my devotion to Him, and it FEELS like this one woman caused it.
This is a ton of rambling on, and it might not make sense, but you have NO idea how FRUSTRATING it is. Mankind wasn't meant to live in a tight, structured environment, always under critisism and analyisis.
I would look back on each day and give it a good or bad rating depending on how many times I was corrected for something.
I would go to bed in tears sometimes because of the injustice of some people. It was just WRONG.
But how can someone affect your life like that? It's not fair to blame her, and yet it feels like my relationship with God would be that much farther if it weren't for her interference.
Why do people think life is uncomplicated?
| | |
| [V.1]
You're over there
And you're singing bout her eyes
I'm over here
And I'm writing about your lies
[Chorus]
Are you telling her
All that you told me?
Are you being her
Man of Mystery?
Do you even remember
What we used to be?
I'm coming over
Cause I wanna see
[V.2]
I'm sittin here
Watching you from a distance
And next to you
She's sittin in pure ignorance
You're standin there
Cause I took you by surprise
I'm standing here
Your worst nightmare in disguise
[Chorus]
She's standing there
She's kinda startin to get a clue
You're standing there
What you did to me she'll do to you
Oh boy,
It's your turn.
[V.3]
I'm standin here
Cause I'm done with your dumb game
You're standin there
I've never seen you so ashamed.
[Chorus]
It's your turn. | | |
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